Human
sexuality is an important, and complex, dimension of what it means to be a
unique human being, created in the image of God. Thinking about it reminds us
that only God really knows us fully (Ps. 139:1; 1 Cor. 13:12). Sexuality is
complex because it involves our minds and our bodies, our selves and our
behaviour towards others, what we think about ourselves and what others think
about us. It touches on some of the most profound aspects of life, such as our
capacity for intimacy, love and fidelity. Our sexual identity is hard to fathom
because we might not always be conscious of the psychological processes that
shape it. Sexuality is also complex because we are social beings, situated in a
particular time, place, and culture. Our experiences, and how we interpret
them, are shaped by shared social understandings and meanings, some of which we
might be aware of consciously, and others not. Part of a Christian moral task
is to become aware of those assumptions and to recognise that they are always
in play, even when we reach to say the simplest things, such as that ‘the Bible
says …’ or ‘the tradition says …’.
The language
of ‘sexual orientation’ is an important part of how we understand human
identity, but as important phrases go, it is relatively new. The previous
assumption – discounted today – was that human beings are all fundamentally
attracted to people of the opposite sex (and therefore also likely to be able
to ‘settle down’ with someone of the opposite sex). The relatively recent
concept of sexual orientation recognises that the situation is more complex
than that, as the even more recent phenomenon of publicly acknowledged
monogamous relationships between two people of the same sex also shows. Both of
those developments are part of a bigger picture of changes within personal
relationships over a longer time scale. Those changes include a more
egalitarian or ‘companionate’ approach to marriage, and a less sharp
distinction between the roles of men and women. Crucial to each of these
changes is another very important shift, that whereas women and men previously
operated in largely separate worlds, today they mix in almost every sphere of
life.
The way in
which many debates around sexuality are conducted shows that this complexity
and mystery is easily forgotten. In particular, there’s a temptation to reduce
what should be a rounded ethical debate – involving the whole of what it means
to be human and to love others – to a simple discussion of genital contact, as
if that were all that sexuality were really about. There is a real problem with
Christians talking about sexual relationships in this way, not least
because that so easily simply mirrors, within the Church, a reductive,
materialistic approach to sexuality, which we would rightly object to in the
secular world. The Christian tradition, right from the Bible as its foundation,
places its emphasis on relationships that belong within a wider community,
looking outwards to others, and on the twin commandments to love God and
neighbour as the touchstone for everything about the Christian life, including
its sexual aspects.
Some may
argue that particular sexual acts are wrong, with the conclusion that any
intimacy between people of the same-sex must be condemned on that basis. However,
to reiterate that point, there is more to sexual relationships than isolated
‘sexual acts’, and if sex between two people counts as no more than ‘a sexual
act’, something is amiss. The Christian tradition already stands out against
such reductionism, not least when it says that our sexual orientation or
identity cannot define us: it is only a part of who we are. The primary
identity of any Christian is his or her identity ‘in Christ’, based on our
common baptism into his Body. If we stand out against reductionism, we should
be careful not to embrace it in the assumption that sexuality means no more
than ‘sexual acts’.
This is an
extract from Amazing Love: Theology for Understanding Discipleship, Sexuality and Mission edited by Andrew Davison, available now
in paperback for £8.99.
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