Friday, 22 May 2020

Improbable Lives of the Coronavirus Saints by the Revd Richard Coles and Ted Harrison


Whose intercession should we be seeking at this time of isolation due to the coronavirus?

Which saint is best placed to plead on our behalf?

Because of her name, St Corona comes to mind. She was a second-century martyr whose fate was to be tied to two bent palm trees and torn in half as their trunks were released. Yet, in her lifetime she had no reputation as a miracle worker and in death her role has been limited. She is the patron saint of the tooth fairy. Given this limited experience perhaps it would be expecting far too much of her to intercede on behalf of millions during a worldwide pandemic.

Recalling our collection of improbable saints, few leap to mind as especially appropriate for special prayers at this time of need. The cephalophoric saints, such as St Helier or St Martial, had a rather specialised niche. They were capable of proclaiming the gospel after being beheaded, but they were not known for healing the sick. Neither were the saints who practised extreme self-mortification. St Maolruain of Tallaght sat in barrels of freezing water with his arms outstretched to mimic the sufferings of Christ. St Abercius was martyred by being stripped naked and tormented to death by maddened bees.

Given the early symptoms of COVID-19 perhaps St Blaise should be the saint to call on. He lived in the fifth century and queues of people came to his cave, often bringing their sick animals. His feast day follows Candlemas, so it is a widely observed custom to use those candles, in a cross shape, to bless the throats of the faithful against infection and lodged fish bones.

There were saints who slew demons, those who levitated, those who died horrible deaths to preserve their chastity. There are saints with callings to patronage. St Sabbas the Sanctified has a particular concern for occupational therapists. St Guy is the patron saint of garden sheds. St Zeno of Verona looks after anglers. St Elvis is the patron saint of hound dogs, naturally. St Frances of Rome brings protection to motorists - though clearly she does not have a 100% success rate.

St Daniel of Constantinople had a reputation for predicting fires. St Amador of Portugal is invoked against aphids. All worthwhile causes and gifts - but so far in neither of the volumes, Lives of and Legends of Improbable Saints is there a specialist. Except perhaps one. St Edmund. 

Today there is city and diocese named after him. He was an East Anglian king from the ninth century who was known as a good and wise ruler. However, he had invading Vikings to deal with and eventually, after the Battle of Hoxne, Scandic invader Ivar the Boneless demanded he renounce his Christian faith. He refused, so he was beaten and then shot with so many arrows that he is said to have ‘looked like a hedgehog’. When he was later exhumed, to be buried in a special tomb at Bury, the arrow wounds had miraculously healed. It is not explained why, but over the years his reputation as a healer has grown and as such he is now the Patron Saint of Pandemics. He’ll rather busy at the moment.

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This is the latest Lockdown Blog article by one of Darton, Longman and Todd’s amazing authors, offering a personal reflection on our current situation in life. These blogs post are written sometimes in reference to one of the writer’s books, and sometimes about how they are living in response to the coronavirus and our current world situation. We hope it will give you a taste of the depth and diversity of DLT’s list – books for heart, mind and soul that aim to meet the needs and interests of all.

Today’s post is by the Revd Richard Coles and illustrator Ted Harrison, whose books Lives of the Improbable Saints and Legends of the Improbable Saints are available to buy here


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