Values, Loo Rolls and Vulnerability by Angela Ashwin

What matters most? If ever there was a time in human history when this question was paramount, it must be now. During challenging moments in the past I have often turned to the wise and holy fools to help me sort out my priorities. These free spirits down the ages challenge conventional attitudes and help us see the truth behind appearances. In celebrating 'fools' I must stress that I am not referring to the kind of reckless folly that endangers both oneself and others - a phenomenon sadly not unknown just now. The 'foolishness' I have in mind is a way of truthful, brave and generous living, part of our human potential which brings us closer to God himself. As St Paul boldly asserts, 'the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom' (1 Corinthians 1:25).

Jesus, arguably the greatest Holy Fool ever, constantly turned worldly wisdom upside down. For example, he recognised the essential worth of every individual, reaching out especially to those widely considered useless, unproductive or insignificant. I am profoundly relieved that this underlying conviction, that every person matters, lies behind the unbelievably huge responses of most world governments to the coronavirus pandemic (in spite of some glaring exceptions). Drastic  measures, both financial and practical, are designed primarily to protect the very people who might, in a ruthlessly utilitarian world, have been considered expendable: the elderly, frail and unwell. As someone aged over 70 myself I am overwhelmed and humbled by the magnitude of this corporate effort.

Yet this is not simple or straightforward.  While it is widely agreed that everybody is of equal value, Ministry of Health officials warn us that not everyone can be treated in the same way. There could still be agonising decisions about who will be given life-support machines when there are not enough for everyone. Some of us who are older may have to face this scenario for the sake of the younger generation. If so, can we find it in ourselves to say ‘Yes’, and see it as a gift for others? This is very deep water, and I approach it hesitantly. But life and death issues are coming to our attention now in ways hardly imaginable a few months ago, and I am turning to some of our saints and holy fools to guide me through. I am thinking of Father Maximilan Kolbe who stepped forward in Auschwitz concentration camp in 1941 to die in place of another man. Such Christlikeness is beyond most of us, yet Kolbe's example may help us to pray for the grace to be unselfish in smaller ways, like self-isolating for the sake of others. But we must beware! The last thing we need is armies of smug, self-appointed martyrs. We need a healthy dose of common sense and the capacity not to take ourselves too seriously. This brings me on to loo rolls.

Many spiritual guides say that we are always given the teachers we need, but I little dreamed that the humble loo roll would become my mentor.  First I am learning how precious each sheet of toilet tissue is, making me resolve never to take loo rolls for granted again. This leads me to appreciate other everyday things more, so that every birdsong, daffodil and baked bean is something to cherish. Thus I am rediscovering the ancient art of thankfulness, a creative and healing energy in my turbulent soul.

But there is a darker side to the lessons of the loo roll shortage. While there is a tremendous groundswell of good will around, COVID-19 is also bringing out the worst in us, including in me. I am aware that the rollercoaster of thoughts in my mind contains a large dollop of judgementalism. Of course we need to let off steam at times. But I know that habitually blaming others can become a corrosive energy in my soul. So when I find myself railing against loo roll hoarders and others, I need to find ways of letting go of this unedifying stream of self-righteous indignation. Other holy fools help me here: the fourth-century Desert Fathers and Mothers who lived in constant prayer and radical simplicity in the deserts of Egypt and elsewhere. From their profound understanding of human nature they urge us to listen carefully to our thoughts and then meet each negative or unhelpful impulse with something positive. This could be a Bible verse, favourite prayer, the name of Jesus or anything that works for us, in order to draw us back to our better and deeper selves.

In a world often preoccupied with success and achievement the wise fools tell us that it is strength, not weakness, to acknowledge our vulnerability and need of help. Many people are suffering greatly just now, and we all need space to lament and maybe talk openly with each other about dying, in a society that is often death-denying. At the heart of the Christian faith is Jesus, the crucified Fool on the Hill, a complete failure in worldly terms, but with us now in the hellishness and humanity of this bewildering pandemic. Christ is here, not taking away our pain but sharing it with us.

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Each day, we will post a short article by one of Darton, Longman and Todd’s amazing authors, offering a personal reflection on our current situation in life. Sometimes this will be written with reference to one of their books, and sometimes about how they are living in response to the COVID-19 coronavirus and our current world situation. We hope it will give you a taste of the depth and diversity of DLT’s list – books for heart, mind and soul that aim to meet the needs and interests of all.

Today’s post is by Angela Ashwin, author of Faith in the Fool: Delight and risk in the Christian adventure. You can buy the book here.