Do
you get earworms? - songs that surface randomly in your mind and then stay
stuck for hours or even days?
I
noticed this in February when the awful news about Jean Vanier was announced.
My mind seemed weirdly obsessed with silently singing the ‘Age of Aquarius’
from the musical Hair:
Harmony
and understanding
Sympathy
and trust abounding
No
more falsehoods or derisions
Golden
living dreams of visions
Mystic
crystal revelation
I
couldn’t decide whether my unconscious (or semi-conscious), somewhat whimsical
and irreverent at the best of times, was being ironic, given the betrayal of
sympathy and trust in warped and manipulative revelations, or whether it was
recognizing that falsehoods were giving way to a more truthful vision, where
vulnerable people would not be treated with derision. In the Fifth Dimension’s version, the song
slides seamlessly into ‘Let the Sunshine In’, oddly subtitled ‘The Flesh Failures’.
These two consecutive songs stayed in my head for days, despite my best efforts
to replace them. But on some level, the earworm music seemed to catch a certain
hopeful feeling that lay somewhere deeper than my shock and anger and distress
– a true liberation, as the next line says, perhaps recognizing that very murky
reality of failures of the flesh were being illuminated by letting the sunshine
in.
Similarly,
I’ve had several songs stuck in my head since we have self-isolated after
welcoming family members off long flights, such as Leonard Cohen’s ‘Dance me to
the End of Love’: ‘Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin, dance me
through the panic till I’m gathered safely in …’
And
all this has led me back to Gerard W. Hughes’ God of Surprises. I had not read it since 1987, but I remembered
Hughes’ description of St Ignatius, a young man bored in isolation with little
to read, daydreams filling his days. Gradually he became aware that daydreams
of romantic conquests left him feeling bored, empty and sad, while daydreams of
outdoing the saints in generosity and service energized him. And the genius of
Ignatius is that he didn’t thus conclude that everyone should meditate on
saints rather than courtly love. He concluded that everyone needs to be aware
and attentive to our desires, to find ways to listen for God’s call in us, to
discern between the different spirits vying for our attention and to choose
what gives us life.
I’ve
crossed every upcoming event off my calendar. My mind has too much time to
drift and fret, especially deep in the night.
Even in the daytime, I am a bit overwhelmed. There is too much input,
too many news items, too many blogs to read, even too many generous free online
arts events and concerts. But what is stuck in my mind? Why? What do my
rambling inner movements say about my feelings about life, my participation in
God’s work in the world now?
These
are times that invite all of us back to spiritual attentiveness. How can we
best listen and discern what is happening in us and around us? How can we best
participate in a world that we can encounter only virtually and in our
imaginations? Hughes offers simple exercises after each chapter. I think it’s
time to reread God of Surprises.
Blessings
to you all,
Carolyn
Whitney-Brown
***
Reading
God of Surprises led Carolyn
Whitney-Brown to the three-month course in Apostolic Spirituality at St Beuno’s
in 1989. She is currently working with Henri Nouwen’s unpublished manuscript
about the flying trapeze, tentatively titled All of Life in Nine Minutes.
***
Each
day, we will post a short article by one of Darton, Longman and Todd’s amazing
authors, offering a personal reflection on our current situation in life.
Sometimes this will be written with reference to one of their books, and
sometimes about how they are living in response to the coronavirus and our
current world situation. We hope it will give you a taste of the depth and
diversity of DLT’s list – books for heart, mind and soul that aim to meet the
needs and interests of all.
Today’s
post is by Carolyn Whitney-Brown, and makes reference to God of Surprises
by Gerard W. Hughes. You can buy an eBook copy of the book here, and a
print copy here.
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